9-29-14

I can tell when a guy regrets.


Matthew Donahoo, “Tao Lin’s Third Novel”

Matthew Donahoo, “Tao Lin’s Third Novel”

(Source: aseaofquotes)

Aye.

I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance.

Beryl Markham, West with the Night

(Source: sad-plath)

I was going to take you to West Point Lighthouse and we were going to watch the Northern Lights together.

(Source: pigorcow)

bonitameme:

When you put your pride aside for someone, that’s how you know the love is real.

Start ignoring people who threaten your joy.
Literally, ignore them.
Say nothing.
Don’t invite any parts of them into your space.

Alex Elle

(Source: alexandraelle)

I’d try to explain that it’s not really negativity or sadness anymore, it’s more just this detached, meaningless fog where you can’t feel anything about anything — even the things you love, even fun things — and you’re horribly bored and lonely.

Allie Brosh 

(Source: raspberrymilk)

9-21-14

I stopped writing a while back because I felt as if all I was and all I wrote about were recycled words and situations. That’s what my life feels like 95% of the time.

In reading authors’ journals, though, I sort of reap inspiration. Maybe one day, I’ll find a literary calling. My literary calling. …if it’s even in my future. I don’t want to write mediocre pieces. I don’t want to live a mediocre life.

It’s very humbling, yknow. It’s humbling when you try to find meaning in not just yourself, but in your own words.

You realize how insignificant you are in comparison to the entire universe.

feelthefearanddoitanyway-x:

This is your Sunday evening reminder that you can handle whatever this week throws at you. Even if school, work or general life isn’t okay, you’ll get through it because you are damn strong and amazing.

9-21-14

Part of studying literature is the ability to be mind-crippling raw. It’s not just my emotions and problems that I have to face day after day. It’s also other authors’ and their characters’ emotions and thoughts that I have to absorb — especially when I can’t find it in me to help myself in a healthy way. I turn to them to find solutions or guidance at the least, comfort at the most. In their words, I delve and ache for validation in the fact that I’m truly not alone and that even if they’re gone, I’m not the first nor last who has ever had these realizations and epiphanies towards real life. Although times and circumstances may change relative to each person, we’re all trying to find the same paradise.

Some days, I work harder than others to desperately find parallels between situations of mine and situations of others just so I could come across a justification to remind myself that hey, I’m not the only one who is this painfully lost, lost being an understatement.

I wish I had more to say on the topic, but I’m still trying to figure it all out, just as everyone else is.

9-21-14

I’m afraid I’ll never achieve/reach the goals I’m so sure of. I’m aware of how contradictory that sounds, but it’s only the truth. It’s a truth I can’t articulate accurately. I’m just mind-crippling afraid and [oftentimes] in physical pain over the thought; that’s all. I’m afraid of having a life that’s not worth it — a life that is full of my heart’s own deceit. There are certain aspects of my life that I have hunches for. They aren’t even hunches, actually. They’re more like.. Dreams that are so embedded into my soul, my reason for living. If those pieces of me are wrong, so to speak, then I don’t know what I’ll do. I don’t know what I’ll think. I won’t know what to trust — anymore.

I just want to know that my instincts mean more than false hope who’s only purpose is to help me get through each day. I want proof that what I ache for has meaning, has substance, has truth, has tangibility.

Has reality on its side.